7:54 PM

TMI or the art of processing much too much

When you think and feel as you talk things through, and there's so much to think about that no one person in your circle can probably absorb all of it maybe it's better to write it down and see if you can process it all that way.

New job:
As usual it's a winding road but also an incredibly lucky one here in the middle of the prairies.  I LOVE strategy work with a nerdy passion.  (I have no personal 5 yr plan but hey, that's different, right?).  I love connecting the dots from a high level strategy (a theory or hypothesis in my mind) and how to make that work....down to certain level of detail that is.  I'm definitely not a super detailed person.  Broad strokes, some fill in strokes and then please, please, please can someone else figure out the nitty grittiest of the nitty gritty.

Most recently that was revising a program approach to be more stakeholder/user centric (a whole other nerdy passion) and then figuring out exactly what that looked like and building sessions and facilitating and generally enjoying watching people have their own ah ha moments and making decisions to drive the direction of their own department.  As an introvert there is a weirdness to sometimes enjoying people sooooo much and yet not loving phone calls, crowds, blind dates or public speaking.

In the past I've had the opportunity to work on IT strategy and IT transformation and learned a lot and learned that I loved that work.  Working through theory and concepts into what can logically be applied and how is like some kind of totally satisfying problem solving thing for me - valley girl meet smarty pants in how that sounds lol.  Based on the work I have been doing in the relatively new job here I didn't see an opportunity to get back to that but was definitely enjoying working on stakeholder/user centric approaches, working with an HR department to connect the project to their overall goals  and busy enough getting to know new people, settling into the house, working on renos and then christmas projects and figuring out how to get back to running - still pending.

But when an opportunity comes up to work in your area of expertise AND work within strategic planning at a corporate level it's pretty tough to not apply.  And apparently tough to not share your nerdy passion at your interview...which must have had some appeal since I was offered the job....ready or not.  Included in the job was an opportunity to lead a team of professionals, put my own stamp on an organizational approach to change management and work on tying that into corporate strategy work....plus learn a different business model and lines of business.  It's as if I put a wishlist on paper and it materialized (unlike my drafted, revised, drafted, re-revised date wish list....more on that later).

So after some negotiation (I am a Winnipegger after all) and deliberation (I am an overthinker after all) I accepted.  And transitioned my baby at the other job and my newly formed business relationships and hope to keep some early forming friendships.

Today was day 2.  Day 1 was meet the team....see your OFFICE....like a room with a DOOR...get background on work in progress, some challenges, work your peers are focused on and pre-reading of strategy materials for day 2.  Day 2 was an all day senior leaders strategic planning session facilitated by one of my peers, my boss and my boss's boss AND my new VP.  It was daunting to walk into a room with 80 senior leaders.  It was throw-uppable to stand and introduce myself.  And it was amazing to listen to leaders talk about their organization, their personal areas of interest and what keeps them up at night and to participate in working sessions to develop strategic intent statements and validate the corporate SWOT.  Also had the CEO speak to me personally twice including asking what I thought at the end of the day....he may not actually care but it was a highlight.

I took copious notes like that dork at the front of the class including my own thoughts on how my function could contribute and what I might want to think about while creating my own plans.

And then I went to Costco for dog food and coffee beans and a shower head.  Which is very grounding.

And then a former colleague called and made me feel like a total winner and asked me thinking questions and reminded me how much I learned working with him.  And pointed out that leaving Calgary was turning out just fine.  And said I sounded like I was on fire and a little crazy...and we laughed because it's true but it's the good kind of crazy.

And then I came home, got into pjs and made popcorn for dinner.

And thanked my lucky stars for how work is playing out for me.

And then I answered texts.

Some from friends new and older asking how it went.  You know you're blessed when you have people who care about you - it's easy when you're solo to feel like you don't matter to anyone as much as if you were someone's parent or somebody.  But I have a circle....and it's not always obvious but it is always out there in my corner it would seem.

And one from my revisit of the dating world.  That I owed a response to because no response seemed to only mean more and more texts....and a give bag hanging on my gate today.  Which is sweet....and weird....and too much for me.  And ironically an approach I realize now I may have used in the past.  So fucking funny when the Universe likes to school you through putting the shoe on the other foot.

I'm now having wine with that popcorn.

So I guess 1 down....more fish in the sea to go.  Best estimates to date are that 25% of those are too young for me based on their use of the terms "hot" and "milf" in combination.  (Can you be a milf without kids?  and should you use that term once you're over 25?)  Another 25-40% are looking for fwb but don't want to call it out that way....one asked 20 sexual questions and got pissy when I started using humour as an avoidance technique....out on the basis that if you can't handle my sense of humour that is never going to work.  (also not sure what the expected answer is to "what is your favourite oral sex technique?" and if that has actually become an acceptable first conversation question).  There are also 5% that acknowledge that they are too old for me but just wanted to say hello anyways.  Probably another 5% that don't speak english or don't have any follow up past "hey" and "u r hot" which is the equivalent of not speaking english I think.

Tomorrow evening is a night out watching some likely too young for me live music with a new work friend.  So my social life is perking along slowly but surely.  And drinks next week plus an invite to a vodka and beer pub....who knew that's a target market combo?  Throw in some Scandal replays for new work-wear inspiration and you have nerd balance.  Or infj balance.  Or something.

And then back to new work.  Don't you love that time frame when it's all infatuation and rose colored glasses?  Me too.

 

5:17 PM

Well hello Universe

Apparently you've given up being subtle with me? Lol



Ok, I get it. I have some work to do. You don't have to be like that.

6:37 PM

Not quite new year but new list

Based on the current catch and release program I have going on with online dating I need to get clearer about what I'm looking for instead of "I'll know it when I see it" or rather feel it in my case....or maybe hear it...half the battle is an inability to string a conversation together...and then it's having a sense of humor.

And before that sounds too bitchy, yes I mostly try to be nice and gracious since I realize for some it isn't easy to put yourself out there.  For others it is apparently way too easy....so far my all time so off-side it was funny message had to be a very first email where I was told he'd do me on a black mink coat.....no hi, hey, hello, heyyyyyy or any preliminaries lol.  more forward than after last call when the lights are coming on...and are mink black...and who has a coat like that nowadays?

I'm also clear that as much as everybody isn't my cup of tea, I'm not for everyone either.  One correspondence ended in all caps that not only was I rude but I was missing out because he has a "KIND AND HONEST HEART!!".  I'm quite certain I've frustrated the hell out of some men in my past but usually we get past email before I do that...who knew I possessed that power?

Although I don't like feeling old I'm pretty sure that skateboards do nothing for me particularly paired with an age bracket over 40.  I also frankly don't possess enough coordination to be anywhere near ramps and wheels and on icy mornings it's all I can do not to fall off the deck on the way to the garage so I'm not likely a great match if those are your favorite pastimes.

Anyways, new book, new approach to "the list" and a girlfriend in another city waiting to do a bookclub-like discussion over long distance wine....better keep reading and writing.  House lists are easier lol


9:00 PM

Moving by the numbers....

10 + 2 = years and months in Calgary
1 + 3 = rental and houses
1st  = new house - and yard project was in Calgary
7  = jobs and 1 incorporation
Many = good friends I was lucky to make
4 = vehicle changes
611 = kms to Saskatoon
1117  = sq ft of new project opportunity
1 = new job
2 = weeks of dogsitting requested now going on 7 I think...plus guilt
5 = hrs closer to Winnipeg
47 = days of upheaval and counting
0 = well done goodbyes
Uncounted = moments of wow, moments of learning, moments of weakness, moments too in my own head; hope to return to being a better friend, auntie, daughter and employee asap....in a future life I'd like to request organization skills and zen

Throw in some moments of pause mixed with excitement and stress and that's 1 big move.

7:22 PM

A piece of quiet

My tenant neighbors have moved out.  No more frat house next door.

Next up....installing new faucets, sod and landscaping...and a for sale sign.

After 12 months of noise, lack of sleep and stress I think it's time to go back to detached.  Likely more renos but also more peace.  Living and learning!