Lost

I lost someone important this week.

She was a lady who was a role model for me in many ways. She was one half of the couple whom my parents had indicated would raise me and my sister if anything happened to them - an indication on paper of their trust, admiration and respect. They passed along those feelings to us in other ways; her house was the only place I was allowed to ride my bike to without question, she was the one to call if my mom didn't have a recipe or sewing answer and for medical advice. Her daughter was my best friend growing up and her home was the place that felt closest to my own.

We camped together as families, celebrated birthdays, anniversaries and dropping in for Christmas Eve at their house was one of my favorite traditions which I later tried to emulate at my own home. She made the best scrambled eggs when we camped and the only eggnog I have ever liked.

She was a career woman with ambition and the ability to pass on her knowledge - I have always admired the combination and never mastered it. She was pulled together and a calm head in a crisis. She had the most recipes for zucchini of anyone I know and the biggest garden I have ever seen. She never failed to make time for a coffee and a chat when I dropped by and sitting at her kitchen table was as comfortable as your best pair of jeans.

And yet for reasons I don't know or understand she felt she couldn't stay with us.

Sometimes people get lost. The voices of people who love them seem like they are far in the distance and they lose perspective. The good things are faded and the dark seems darker. Sometimes they aren't able to find their way back.

And we are left a little lost ourselves.