Win some and lose some

Apparently my overly analytical and hot headed self is too much to handle. I actually like having some plans of my own, looking forward to them and following through.

Guess I suddenly have more time for renos and the gym again.

I need them more than he does

I'm a big believer in the homemade and/or heartfelt gift. I may not always be the best communicator with words but I like to think I try to convey my feelings in other ways.

I gave someone Ghirardelli triple chocolate brownies the other day as a belated Valentine.

I want them back.

(and for those familiar with Sex and the City and the post-it episode...it was almost that bad)

Oh Mother!

So I asked the question what do you do for Valentine's day when you find yourself suddenly single and guess where the reply came from?

My mom.

Every so often I can "hear" my mom's words in my head. Not in the freaky ghost or anything weird way but the way that even daughters whose mothers are still alive sometimes "hear" their mothers. What she said was "You can never go wrong with an apology."

And like most daughters, damn I hate when she's right.

Suddenly Single for Valentine's

When you suddenly find yourself single just in time for Valentine's Day, what do you do?

• Find a slasher movie, get the biggest popcorn they sell AND chocolate and go by yourself
• Order enough Chinese food for 2 (or 3) and stay in
• Work late and go to bed early
• Take the dogs to the off-leash and spend the rest of the evening cleaning the mud off
• Stop at Costco, chat with flirty liquor store guy and bring home bottle of wine for 1
• Make a batch of brownies; eat same

Other suggestions?

Finding something warm and cozy

Did I mention I started dating again? If you're not single then I don't think you can possibly know what hell that is...

• First there's your own insecurities to deal with - in my case it's the weight gain I can't seem to shake and the fact that if I hear one more time about how independent I seem (this is never a compliment) I might just go independent on their @ss...

• Then there's the initial meeting and the fact that very rarely do people seem to resemble their photos. In my case something weird happens between the lens and myself but at least my photos are current, in focus and not me in a group of other people.

• Once you actually find the person you are meeting the fun really begins...and in my case the Seinfelding

* odd choice of clothes including very metrosexual boots on a very not metrosexual guy

* british teeth

* extra 30 lbs all held as a beer gut

* sweats

• After that it gets more interesting because I have found that because I'm a chatter and I can keep a conversation running for a very long coffee this means that eventually any weirdness they possess is bound to come out.

Some nights...in fact more and more nights, this kind of thing is starting to look like the better option. It's homemade, with lots of non-masculine toppings like tomatoes, red onion, red pepper, spinach, garlic and rosemary in the crust.

If only I hadn't forgotten to pick up some wine to go with....hmm...maybe a boyfriend would come in handy....

Berry nice

I forayed back into the world of dating a little while ago. I mean I actually went out on a date. Usually I chat and chat and chat and eventually discover a deal-breaker so that I don't want to go out with them.


This time the potential date wasn't going along with that plan. He kept asking me to meet and was persistent.


It was actually kind of irritating. So one night I said "Fine, let's go for coffee then!". Of course by the time I said this nothing was open but Tim's which is not my idea of a great date location. And I was fully prepared to go have coffee, some chitchat, confirm that I didn't want to see him again and start drafting the thanks but no thanks email in my head on the way home.


Which was great until just seeing him walk across the parking lot caused a "zing" that I haven't felt in a long time. (aside from the young'un who has since relocated himself back to SK)


Then we chatted for 3 hrs in Tim's. And the man was shifting around on his seat so much at the end I couldn't help but giggle a bit. Tim's seats aren't meant for 3 hr coffee dates.


And for the first time in a long time on the way home I was thinking "well crap, what if he doesn't like me back?"


But so far it seems he does and although there have been some quirks that sometimes cause some confusion - sarcastic and dry humor is hard to read; he seems like a nice guy. So when he laughs that I haven't cut the grass in almost two weeks and asks what I've been doing and suggests I get off my butt - which gets me kinda cranky and irritated, he then follows it up by showing up with 2 buckets of saskatoons. I've been talking about going to get saskatoons for weeks.

Last weekend my range hood fan, new bathroom light and upstairs bedroom lights all got installed - without asking. And when upon pulling out the stove all kinds of grodiness was revealed, he wiped down the sides of the cupboards and the floor without a dig on my cleaning at all.

So it seems I need to figure out how to handle a nice guy...with a dry sarcastic streak.

Maybe I'll start plying him with saskatoon pie.

And they ask why I'm still single

A peek into the world of online dating:

From: panda beer
Subject: i would like to talk to u

i would like to talk ot you you sound a lot like me i am looking for a down to earth pure of heart woman who likes icecream slurrppees getting up and going i like the mountains banff is just one of my many parradises i work 5 days a week and am honest caring of the people how meen the most to me i like to kick back on hte patio with the bbq going and a cold one i am my own person i like things easy not hared i hope to here from you

From: Positive Note
Subject: Beyond Average Can you handle it ?

You are looking for somone like me. Sorry for being so bold as to say that, but the more you allow yourself to get to know me the more you will realize how honest and correct I am.
Dave

From: ed_999
Subject: u never know

hello im ED and i read your profile and think maybe we should try to chat and see if they is something there since we both have the same out look on live and ny pic doesnt do me justice but that is live well ill let u back to what ever u were doing and let u deside for your and hope we can chat bye for now

From: LITTLE PAUL
Subject: Hello

Your words are insperational.

But Having been married for almost 20 years I can tell you that a lady changes a man regardless of his independence before they have met. Its like having not influenced the course of time by simply being there to photograph a crucial momoent in time.

If you are turely looking for a man who is not influenced by a lady, then please do not respond. If you believe that you can change the path of planets and comets that please just smile.
Paul

Dating and confused

"Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart." ~ Annie, Bull Durham.

Ok so is it the timing that's off? Should I have studied more physics? And why does attraction have to be so out of our control? Why can't we be attracted to the person who on paper is the best match for us? Why is it so hard to find a good partner??

I have been seeing a seemingly nice guy in his early 40s. We have lots in common. We can talk for 2 hrs at a time on the phone. But (you knew there was a but, didn't you?) I don't think he's that into me. And ambivalence isn't a characteristic that I find appealing; it's hard on the self-esteem and the confusion it creates sucks up a lot of time and energy for over-analyzing. On the other hand there is a much younger guy (like well beyond my usual 7 yr age limit in either direction) who is the nephew of some friends that I see off and on every so often for social evenings. On paper this is a ridiculous match but the sparks are almost tangible. He's goofy at times and makes me feel young (I know that is totally cliche) and yet seems to have his crap together - owns a house and just started his own construction business, helps out his family etc. But (yep, another but) we never seem to get it together for more than the odd spark filled evening every few months.

And why did god give men radar? 'Cause I swear that they know when there is no man in your immediate vicinity and then they can't be bothered to give you the time of day but if you get just one phone call from a potential suitor they are back to being interested. Even when logged into an online dating site I've noticed it is all or nothing - lots of emails/smiles/instant messages or nada. I would love to know what women's equivalent power is...because understanding men sure isn't it.

Annie: What do you believe in, then?
Crash: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.